The new you! Or getting some ‘work’ done

If you’ll remember, in the February 2012 Senior Lawyers newsletter, I discussed your appearance. Actually, I focused on your appearance, i.e., your grey or white hair. I said if you are going to color it, get a professional to do it. Avoid the monochromatic look. It looks like you used black shoe polish on your eyebrows and hair. Oy Vey!! Don’t do it!!

Now I’m going to discuss what other work you might have done to yourself to look acceptably younger. When I discuss plastic surgery, I’m reminded of the story of a guy who lent a friend $10,000 for plastic surgery and now he doesn’t know what the friend looks like.

I took the liberty of discussing this matter with one of the partners of Valley Plastic Surgery in West Dundee, IL. His name is Dr. Philip Lambruschi. I was seeing him for a bad paper cut on my finger (don’t ask). Some of the older members of the ISBA might remember his father, noted Chicago personal injury attorney Fred Lambruschi. We discussed what “work” an older member of our bar might have done.

Dr. Phil said that whatever you have done, it should be conservative in its application. If you are going for a full face lift, then Dr. Lambruschi said that you should contact a doctor who does guys (if you are a guy) or women ( if you are a woman). The next thing he told me is that work done on one’s eyelids, either upper or lower or both, is a good way to develop a fresher “you.” The next surgical treatments one might wish to pursue are the “lifts.” There is the “neck lift,” but the doctor cautioned not to attempt to go for the “Hollywood Look!” I won’t elaborate on what the “Hollywood Look!” is. Needless to say, in all things involving cosmetic plastic surgery, one must always follow the conservative approach. According to Dr. Lambruschi, you are striving to look natural, a little younger at best. What is most important is that you go over your options with a board-certified plastic surgeon who will discuss with you the benefits and risks involved in having surgery. If, after having the surgical “work” done, you run into a colleague or friend and they don’t recognize you, you’ve gone too far, or, if you are avoiding a process server, not far enough (see the opening joke above). If, on the other hand, those same colleagues and friends tell you that you look terrific, that’s a good thing.

And not to put too fine a point on it, there’s the old “Borsht Belt” joke about a guy who had his face lifted so many times, his socks were empty. You get the idea. I look forward to seeing the new you.

Member Comments (1)

Loren, you devil! I loved this story. Laced with humor and yet good advice for someone who might have the urge to go under the knife. In The Villages the women don't even care what you look like if you have a Mercedes and balls! Regards.

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November 2015Volume 7Number 2PDF icon PDF version (for best printing)